It was 20 years ago today that you left us, and since then there have been maybe two days that I haven’t thought of you. Your actions, viewpoints, sayings, and beauty pervade my mind. You stood up for me when I didn’t have the power or courage. You taught me empathy and compassion. You taught me to reason. With each passing year, your absence deepens.
I was in California when I found out you were gone. I cried all the way to the airport. I cried so much that I began to feel bad for the man who was driving me there. What could he do? What could he say to console me? Nothing. Yet, he tried his best. I cried during the entire flight to New York. And I should have apologized to the man sitting next to me who no doubt heard the music blasting in my headphones as I tried to numb the agony.
You created a hole in the universe when you left. Spirit, soul, electrical energy—I’m not sure. Whatever it is, you left the world off kilter.
I loved you, Mom. I love you now. No matter what happens, I will always love you.